


Falling In Love with Him

by irinawrites



Category: Actor RPF, American Actor RPF, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Benry, Benry Caffleck, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 22:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6538729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irinawrites/pseuds/irinawrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry couldn’t afford to fall in love that easy.  He’s not that kind of man anymore.</p><p>Or so he thought.</p><p>Until he met Ben.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling In Love with Him

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻】Falling In Love with Him（爱他）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6655498) by [Echopai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echopai/pseuds/Echopai)



> If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life. – Oscar Wilde
> 
> You may also check [Echopai](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Echopai/pseuds/Echopai) and her translation [on her blog.](http://echosaru.lofter.com/) Thanks a lot dear!

Love used to be simple for Henry. When you love, you give everything. No questions. No conditions. Just love. It was that simple.

He first experienced it with his mom, Marianne. She had sacrificed her own career and happiness to raise him and his brothers. It was quite unfair really how a strong, loving woman chooses to have her world revolves around her family. He once asked her why, why would she give up everything for them and with a warm smile on her face she answered him,

_“It’s because I love you.”_

It was a simple answer yet it was true and pure. Henry might be too young to know about love, but one thing he knows for sure, he loves her more than anything in the world.

-                                                                                             

Henry remembered Ella, a beautiful, olive-skinned, Mediterranean decent girl from St. Michael. She’s the kind of girl that every boy in his age would like to be with. She was smart, out-spoken and compassionate. Also, she was his first love.

They met when he was 10 and she was 9. It was one of those after school study groups where the two of them ended up on the library one afternoon for a science project. They were exchanging looks and meaningful smiles and Henry couldn’t help but to seize the moment, so he kissed her. It was more of a peck than a romantic one but it was perfect for a first kiss. He realized how easy it was to open your heart to someone, to let yourself loose and feel that heart-warming feeling. But then again, he was just 10 at that time, and he realized, much later on, that it wasn’t really love but more like infatuation.

They said their goodbyes after graduation. There were no hard feelings, no crying and no promises to get back together. Despite all that, Henry will always remember her. After all, she was his first love.

-

Henry once asked his older brother Piers how it is to fall in love and he answered, “You are too young to be thinking about this. You have a lot to learn, kid.” He might be right but Henry’s too proud (too stubborn) to admit that, so he chose to brush it off. Besides, his brother found his fiancé when they were teenagers ( _What a hypocrite! He thought._ ) and perhaps he will too.

At Stowe, he met Cloe. He was 16 that time and he wasn’t really sure what he was doing. Being with the most popular girl in school seemed to be the goal of every teenage boy, so he went for it. They looked perfect for each other, both good-looking and smart, like a photo copy of a seamless Hollywood teenage heartthrob. He dated her for a while, convincing himself that this is the norm and that he needed (wanted) her in his life. Things got tough and she became more demanding, asking her things that Henry couldn’t (wouldn’t) really give to her like his undivided attention. His time. His heart.

He knew he was being unfair to her, so he broke things up, leaving her heartbroken and angry. They didn’t talk after that, nor did he try reaching out to her. He just simply let her be and let her heal from her heartbreak so she’ll be able to move on. It didn’t take long for her to find someone new and Henry was left wondering if she really loved him or was it just another infatuation on her part. Maybe every teenager has to experience this, has to go through the process of understanding the difference between love and infatuation, to be immersed in that feeling so they can grow and mature in life. He may not understand what love really is or maybe he has a lot to learn when it comes to that subject, but one thing for sure, he knew that forcing himself to someone just because they are perfect for him is not love – it's pretence.

He should have known better. He should have followed Piers advice but at that time, he was young, naïve and was prone to impetuosity. It was very easy for him to convinced himself that he was in love and what he was doing was okay. How could his young-self understand that sometimes mistakes and learning comes with a price?

He didn’t date anyone after that, swearing that it will be the last time he would break someone’s heart.

Cloe went on to marry that guy after graduation and Henry was honestly happy for her.

-

His father used to say that love comes in the most unexpected ways, that once it comes, you should seize the moment and just go in for the ride. Colin, his father, has always been his hero growing up, and his words means a lot to Henry.

So after dating for two years, Henry decided to propose to his girlfriend Ellen. He thought that that was it, that he was in love and that he was happy and satisfied, and that like his father had said, he should seize this moment to be with her. But life doesn’t always go according to plan and she called off their engagement after a year. The media wrote things about it, how he rather chose to focus on his career or how fame got into his head. He didn’t really mind being in the tabloids. He had accepted that fact a long time ago when he decided to be an actor. He knew people will talk about his personal life. It was part of the deal. But what they didn’t know was how he cried every night thinking about his failed relationship or how he was too in love with her and that she wasn’t, how he ran back to his mom to asked for an advice or just a hug, or even how he asked (begged) Ellen to give him another chance even though all he did was just to love her. They will never know how broken he was or how his heart shattered when he learned she was seeing someone new or how he plead to God for him to stop the pain.

He should have kept something for himself, a piece where he can go back to so he can rebuild his broken heart again but Henry was taught to give it all, to just love without any conditions, and now he was left with nothing to fix, nothing to rebuild, just a broken vessel of a man surrounded with pain and heartbreak.

It was in this experience that Henry begins to understand what it meant to be in love and how horrible it was when you find it unrequited.

-

As time goes by and lovers come and go, Henry became more protective of himself. Gone were the days when he would jumped on a relationship just because of a sudden spark or intimate whispers of _I love yous._ Heartbreaks had made him stronger and more mature about his life and his decisions.

He started to build a wall around him to shelter his heart. The pain he had experienced from his past relationships was too much to bear and he swore he wouldn’t put himself in that kind of situation again. He had almost lost it. He had almost died.

He was described to be elusive and private, only showing a small part of himself to people around him. His friends respected this though his lovers had criticized him and accused him for being too cold and indifferent. He understood their predicament. He does, really. But he let them be. Who cares about what they think? What is important for him was that he can protect himself. He couldn’t afford to fall in love that easy.

He’s not that kind of man anymore.

Or so he thought.

Until he met Ben.

-

Henry first met Ben on the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. He initially didn’t want to go (honestly, isn’t it enough for him to attend the Oscar Awards) but his agent said it was a must. _Networking_ , Dallas had called it. He said Henry needed it to expand his contacts, to be seen with other celebrities, to get used to the lifestyle of the rich and famous. He didn’t really agree with Dallas, but he obliged. It’s part of being an actor anyways. Plus he was doing Man of Steel, so he might as well promote himself and the movie while he is at it.

After a couple of small talks with some producers and actors, his eyes finally landed to the bearded man on the corner holding an Oscar. It’s not hard to spot or recognize him; after all, he’s a famous movie star and he was the man of the hour. He just won Best Picture for a movie he starred, directed and produced. It was quite an achievement really, and Henry admired him enormously for that.

He noticed that Ben had this smile on his face – grateful and proud. He should be. After all he has been through, with his career and his life, from a Tabloid magnet to a respectable and acclaimed filmmaker, this was a great accomplishment.

Ben was chatting quietly with George Clooney probably about their film, or whatever A-list actors should be talking about. He looked a bit tired but still handsome, even for his age. He had aged like a fine wine. He still has that boyish look, but more in a classic and matured way. He looks gorgeous with his tall frame, broad shoulders, stoic -

Suddenly he felt himself frown. God, he just realized he was staring.

He saw George excused himself, leaving Ben alone in the corner. Thinking that he would never have this chance again, he brushed off his worry and approached the man. After all, it’s nice to get acquainted to a famous actor and director (even if he found him gorgeous). Who knows, Ben might cast him in one of his movies someday.

“Hello. I’m Henry. Henry Cavill.”

Ben looked surprised but he smiled. “Oh Hi! I’m Ben –“

“Affleck. I know. Congratulations! It was a great movie.”

Another smile. “Thank you. You’re playing Superman, right?”

Henry blushed. Actually blushed. _Oh god. This is embarrassing._

“Ah, Yes.”

Ben grinned at him broadly. “I saw Man of Steel. You were great in it.”

Henry’s face reddened more, like a tomato. Like a fucking red, ripe tomato. “I-ah, thank you.”

Ben gave him a big smile and gently tapped his shoulder. An assistant sheepishly approached them, whispering something to Ben. With a nod, he politely excused himself. Henry nodded in response but his eyes followed the other man as he approached his wife in the middle of the room.

It was a simple conversation, very small and professional, like any other small talks he had with other actors. But somehow, Henry couldn’t help but to feel warm and giddy inside.

How he blushed when Ben complimented him. How Ben seemed so down to earth and interested unlike other actors he had met. How he would smile that beautiful smile he has.

Henry wouldn’t understand it now but he will remember this moment. Not that he would realize it now, but he will in the long run.

Because at that moment, the walls that took years for him to build started to crack. He just didn’t realize it yet.

-

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon when he got the call from Zack about who is playing Batman opposite his Superman on the Batman V Superman movie and he froze. Literally. It took him a couple of minutes to reply, which is embarrassing (he could hear Zack asking if he’s okay), but all he could think about is how he’s going to be working with Ben _fucking_ Affleck. How the man he admires (and is secretly attracted to) will be on the same picture with him, as the billionaire Bruce Wayne, as the mysterious Dark Knight, as the cool and mother _fucking_ Batman.

It took a day for the realization to sink in.

And then he panicked.

He should mentally (and emotionally) prepare for this after all.

-

It was a coffee date. Not really. Zack had called them for coffee to officially introduce them to one another. Zack said this was needed to have them be familiar with each other for their chemistry and working relationship. So, technically it wasn’t a date but more like a work meeting. But Henry liked to call it a date. He was, after all, meeting Ben for coffee, with their Director, which is okay. A date can be with three people, right? So Henry insisted ( but more to himself) that this was a date.

When Ben arrived, he brought them a couple of coffee bags. He said it was from a country called Congo, where his foundation was graciously helping out. Henry found it charming, generous and kind, how a superstar like Ben would go on and dedicate his time and his hard earned money to help others who are in need. Maybe that’s not the entire reason. Maybe he is just smitten. A little love-struck maybe. But Ben is here, in front of him (and Zack, of course), and he was smiling that kind, warm, loving smile. _That smile_ he had when Henry had first met him.

He didn’t know that his heart could beat this loudly until this very day.

-

It’s true what they say about being in a close distance with an attractive person, that you couldn’t help but to stare. Because that’s what Henry has been doing for almost an hour at the gym. Staring. Gaping. Shamelessly. Who could blame him? Ben was on the corner with Rehan, his trainer, lifting some weights. He was prepping for his role, building his muscles for that ideal Batman body and _Jesus_ _Christ,_ he looked glorious.

He briefly wondered what it is like to be hugged tight by that body, to touch those hard muscles, or to be pinned down by those big, strong arms.

His trainer Mark must have caught him staring because he sniggered.

“Unfortunately, Zack wants Batman to be bigger than Superman so Ben’s training module is much tougher than yours.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Hey Cavill, Focus!”

Henry blushed and reluctantly shifted his gaze back to his trainer. Right. Focus. He should focus on his own work out because that is why he is here, to work out and not to watch the other man lift weights. But with Ben shirtless and all sweaty in the corner, his training just became tougher than his trainer had initially thought.

-

Fuck Zack Synder.

He might have been the most brilliant man around and generous for giving him the opportunity to play one of the most iconic superhero in the comic book history, but yeah, fuck him.

Because here he was, on Ben’s trailer, doing read-through with the gorgeous actor, alone, on Zack’s command.

And _Oh my God_ , his mind was going to places it shouldn’t be going.

Of course, Ben was oblivious with his inner turmoil, being all professional and friendly with him. Henry tried to focus, he really did, reading his lines like how Clark Kent would say it, and tried his best to avoid gazing at the other man’s beautiful hazel eyes.

Ben might have noticed his stiff and probably awkward acting, because he suddenly decided to sit beside him. Maybe a little too close because Henry can practically smell the other man’s musky after-shave scent and he really wanted to kiss him.

Ben looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

Henry forced a smile because he’s okay. There was nothing is wrong with him. Absolutely nothing. And if there was something (because honestly there really was), he would not admit it. Not to the subject of his affection. Definitely not to God damn Ben Affleck.

“Yeah, just nervous.”

“Nervous? Why?”

_Because you are too close. Because you smell so great I can kiss you right now. Because-_

“You’re a two-time Oscar winning actor.”

Ben’s laughter engulfed the room. “I won for screen-writing and for Best Picture. I haven’t won for acting. I’m not like Daniel Day Lewis or Tom Hanks. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

 _So you say._ “But you’re a veteran. I’m just a new-comer.”

Ben smiled and Henry silently cursed him because that’s _the smile_ he’s dreading (wanting) to see.

“I’m just Ben and you’re just Henry. Two people. Actors but just people.”

Years of building his walls, years of trying to protect his vulnerable heart, now crumbling down with one simple statement, with one simple look.

Henry knew this feeling - the tightening of his chest, the butterflies on his stomach, that warm, beautiful feeling embracing his body.

_Love._

Henry was falling in love.

-

If there is a God, he doesn’t like Henry.

Because why on earth would he let him fall in love with a married man?

Of course Henry knew about his famous wife (Who doesn’t know about the stunning Jennifer Garner anyways?). He knew he has three beautiful kids (He googled it). Hell, he noticed the ring on his finger as well (He observed). These were his warning signs and they came with big red flashing lights. It says that he should stop. That he should fucking stay away. But these were not enough for his heart to stop skipping every time he looks at Ben. Because you can control how you act and what you say but not the heart. Because the heart wants what it wants, right?

He must be doomed. He must have been drunk when God was giving away luck or good decision-making to the world. Or someone might have be doing some Voodo-shit and was playing with his life.

He should stop before it gets too bad, too attached. There are a lot of single women and men around. It’s not like it’s hard for him to get a number or score a date. After all, he is a famous actor and he’s definitely not that bad-looking. He could get someone to go home with him. He has to because he needed to get Ben out of his mind, so he can finally forget this whole love-sick crush.

Because this was getting dangerous. His feelings were getting out of control.

But when Ben invited him for coffee that night, he didn’t (couldn’t) refuse. Because the heart wants what it wants, right?

-

Laurence knew. Brilliant Laurence Fishburne knew.

Or did he?

Henry might be getting a little paranoid. There is no way Laurence knew about his hidden crush (desire) with Ben. He didn’t organize this party for him to have the chance to get cosy with the Oscar winner. No, this party was just one of Laurence unprompted party, like the one he had when they were shooting Man of Steel. Right. This is for the casts and crew, not for him and Ben.

Laurence was nearby and was in deep conversation with Jesse, while he’s with Amy, who was saying something to him, probably about the pastry she tried this morning (which was heavenly), but he wasn’t really following through. He was busy watching Ben at the bar, exchanging conversation with their cinematographer, Larry. Filmmaking talks probably? But he can hear something about pitch and something about missing last season, ah – Baseball. Yeah, they must be talking about the Red Sox.

“Earth to Henry. Hello?”

He looked back at Amy, surprised. She looked amused.

“If you want to talk about baseball, we can talk about it you know. I don’t mind. I like baseball.”

_It’s not about baseball, Amy. It’s about the guy who likes to talk about baseball, damn it._

“No, no. Sorry, I spaced out. I like pastries. We can talk about pastries.”

Amy laughed. “Whatever. I’ll go and get some vodka tonic. Anything you’d like?”

Henry smiled. Thankful. “I’m fine with this.”

Amy nodded and walked towards the bar. That was close. He blamed his new-found ability to have his five senses focus solely to Ben. It’s good that Amy’s nonchalant about these things or else, she would have guessed what he was really doing. Because Amy is very good at reading people and he couldn’t have her knowing. No one could know.

Ben was talking to Larry and surprisingly, Laurence now (Wasn’t he just nearby? He must have joined them when he was talking to Amy). They were still going on about the Red Sox. He wondered how many topics can come out by just talking about a baseball team. He is not familiar with the game (all he knows is football), but from the way they were conversing, it must be fun, since Ben seemed so passionate and happy (it’s his favourite team after all), and he is wearing that smile that Henry loved and craved so much.

He must be spacing out again because he noticed Ben approaching. _What? Why? Mini-heart attack!_

“Hey, Laurence said you love baseball?”

 _Huh? “_ I don’t know anything about baseball.”

He looked confused. “That’s weird.”

“But -” A pause. “-I’d love to know more.”

Ben smiled. Yes, _that smile_. And Henry suddenly found himself being escorted to the sofa nearby by Ben who enthusiastically shared a brief history of baseball and its basic techniques. Their conversation jumped from sports to acting to hobbies, and the next thing he knew, people were already leaving. They must have been conversing for hours but for Henry, it felt like minutes. Time really does fly when you’re having fun.

Ben looked at his watch and groaned. “Hate to end this Henry, but I have to go home. Let’s continue this tomorrow. Over dinner?”

Henry stood up to face him. No, he’s not smiling that widely. “Sure. It’s a date.”

Ben stopped and stared. Henry blushed and wished the ground would swallow him whole.

Then Ben smiled. _That smile_. “Of course, it’s a date.”

He watched him leave before he sank back in his seat. _Did he just score a dinner with Ben Affleck and actually calls it a date? This is too good to be true._ He could hear his heart beating fast. He still couldn’t believe what just happened. He asked Ben for a date and he agreed.

“I was actually thinking of inviting you for a movie tomorrow, but I guess I was too late huh?”

Henry glanced up and saw Laurence at his side, watching him. _Oh shit. Was he here the whole time? Did he -?_

“I’m glad you finally asked him out.”

Henry’s eyes widened. _What? What the actual fuck just happened?_ He was about to say some ridiculous excuse when Laurence just smirked at him and winked before walking away. Realization hit him like a punch to the face.

Of course. Brilliant Laurence Fishburne knew.

-

It’s Chinese.

The last time it was French. Sometimes Italian. Other times English. But today, it’s Chinese.

Ben said it was the best Chinese restaurant in Detroit, according to Google that is. Henry didn’t really care. He didn’t care about how oily the food was, or how many Monosodium Glutamates it has, or how rowdy or overcrowded the room was, or even how and why the people couldn’t recognize them with such little disguise (baseball cap and glasses). (Superman’s disguise proving a point but not that it really matters.)

Henry hasn’t care about most things recently, especially when it comes to Ben.

Their friendly dates (not for him anyways) was always something new, something different, something he was always looking forward to. They could talk about the silliest things and still find it interesting. He was never bored. He was always interested, always wanting to discover something new about the actor.

On the other hand, Ben didn’t disappoint. He was always eager to share, always open and attentive to him. As time goes by, it was getting hard for Henry to convince himself that this is what friends do and not what lovers do on dates.

He felt like a teenager caught with a love-sick bug. He was always willing to impress and would laugh sickeningly every time his crush threw a joke. He would reason to himself that it was funny, that he was laughing because the joke was hilarious and that it has nothing to do with how Ben smiles, how he talks enthusiastically, how his eyes would lighten up every time he cracks those silly puns. No. It has nothing to do with that. It couldn’t. It shouldn’t. Because if it was, then fuck. Henry is fucked.

He wonders what his fortune cookies would say. With his situation, it would go like these:

_Never get too attached to someone that isn’t yours._

_The person you are in love with will never catch you._

_He’s wonderful but he has a ring on his finger._

_You’re entering a world of pain, my friend._

_You’re just hopeless. Give up._

The list could go on but he didn’t really care, not anymore, because Ben looked so happy with his own Chow Fun and it’s enough for Henry. These are the moments he learned to care for. The simple things. The things he could actually have. Ben’s small jokes. Ben’s heart-warming laughter. Ben’s never-ending stories. These are the things that mattered.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Henry was startled but he smiled a little. “Just wondering.”

Ben smiled back. “About what?”

“About Life. About our future.”   _And You. You and I._

Ben grinned and gazed at him thoughtfully. “Good thing we have fortune cookies.”

Henry laughed and thanked the heavens that Ben was oblivious. Grinning, he cracked one to see his fortune.

_In a crowded room, my eyes always search for you._

Ben eyed him intently, he looked serious and Henry felt naked, exposed in front of him. _Thanks a lot fortune cookie. Fuck you._ Ben didn’t say a word and just watched him silently as he put down his chopsticks and cracked his own cookie.

And then he smiled _that smile._ That smile that Henry learned to care for. That smile that Henry loves.

_It has always been you._

-

Henry had read somewhere that when you’re in love, your brain stops functioning.

It must be true because whenever he’s with Ben, everything seems to stop having reasons. Everything seems perfect and right, like pieces of puzzles fitting in together.

Like how Ben kisses him like there’s no tomorrow. Like how the other man would quickly brush his hand to his own when no one’s looking. Like how he would exchange a meaningful, loving glance at him whenever his eyes meet his. Like how they would make love passionately in the private of their own hotel rooms.

Reasons are for the harsh truths, truths that he couldn’t bear to hear or think about. However without it, they’re just two people in love. No one to judge. No one to blame. Just Henry and Ben. Ben and Henry. Just two people.

-

Ben is many things.

Ben likes and hates politics. He likes talking about the dynamics of the Middle East. He likes waking up early for a run and then takes an hour nap afterwards. He likes his pizza with double pepperoni and cheese, but would complain if he ate too much of it. He likes the Red Sox and dislikes the Yankees. He likes collecting vintage Pac-Man and Millipede video-arcade games but often forgets where he keeps them. He loves summer and the sun, and how it rises and sets. He loves philanthropy and would dedicate his free time on his foundation. He gets hurt easily and often over-thinks. He likes giving advices about life and struggles and how one can overcome it. He is a loyal friend and would do anything when someone’s in need.

Ben is many things but he really is just Ben – complex, beautiful, and human.

And it is beautiful to watch.

Henry tried breathing in all those things that makes up Ben’s entirety. He would like to keep it as long as possible, preserving it on his mind, memorizing all the small details of Ben’s personality.

Because as multifarious as Ben is, Henry, on the other hand, is just one thing.

Henry loves Ben.

-

Ben brought his kids to the set one day.

Violet looked bored. Sarah seemed interested. Samuel was just excited.

The crew didn’t mind because they were good kids, very well-mannered and sweet. Henry loves them for it but more because their Ben’s. They’re his greatest treasure and Henry was just happy (too happy) to finally meet them.

He chatted with them, cuddled them, brought them to the costume room, and introduced them to the other cast. He wanted everyone to see how great they were, how proud he was of them. It might be pathetic because he’s not even related to them but he didn’t really care. Henry’s too happy to care.

Only when he brought them back to Ben’s trailer that reality came crushing down.

Jen walked up to them and thanked him for showing the kids around.

He blinked. He nodded. He walked away.

What's that line in Ironic where Alanis Morissette was talking about the irony of meeting the man of your dreams?

Ah. _It’s like meeting the man of your dreams and meeting his beautiful wife._

Bingo.

-

Even though how much Henry loves a good mystery, he couldn’t resist but to read the spoilers. He would read the last page of a book to see what happened. He would fast forward the movie to see the ending. Did they end up together? Was the hero able to save the world? Was it a happy ending? He hated not knowing. He always wanted to know.

So when Ben made love to him that night, longer, more passionately, more loving, Henry knew something was up. The kisses were different. The touch lingered more than usual. The embrace was much tighter.

As if Ben was holding on.

As if he’s trying to delay the inevitable.

Henry didn’t know and he hated not knowing.

-

“Do you think Batman loves Superman?”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “I think Batman _likes_ Superman.”

Henry shrugged, annoyed (he doesn’t know why). “You didn’t answer my question.”

Ben snorted. “You know, Superman loves Lois. Not Batman.”

Henry frowned. “I asked if Batman _loves_ Superman.”

Ben sighed. Defeated. “As a friend, I think.”

Henry opened his mouth then closed it. After a while, he spoke.

“Batman might carry and hide the Kryptonite but I bet Superman does not mind. If there’s one person he could trust with the weapon that could eventually kill him, it would be Batman.”

Ben nodded but he looked confused. “So… you answered your own question?”

Henry sighed. “No. What I was saying is that Superman loves Batman. But my question is does Batman love Superman?”

Ben’s eyes widened as if he realized something but he didn’t answer.

-

Henry saw it coming. He just refused to see. So when it finally happened, it still came as a shock.

“This has to end, Henry.”

Henry nodded, his eyes refusing to meet Ben’s. He’s afraid he’ll see how his whole world is crumbling down, how he’s barely keeping it together, how he’s in the verge of a mental breakdown. So instead, he chose to stare at the wall behind Ben.

“Are you going to be okay?”

 _No. Can’t you see I’m dying?_ “I will be. Don’t worry about me.”

Ben looked concerned but nodded, before walking away. Henry went on and stared at the wall the whole night.

-

Henry Cavill is an actor. He might not have won an Oscar for it but he could definitely act.

The critics and the fans have praised him for his portrayal of Clark Kent. They said he did a great job, said he was the closest to Christopher Reeve, said that he was believable.

Because whatever heartbreak he’s in, no matter how painful and depressed he’s feeling - Henry Cavill is an actor.

It is his reminder whenever he read lines with Ben, or whenever they do scenes together, or whenever they have to go to a dinner with the cast afterwards.

Henry Cavill is an actor. He refuses to break character.

-

Henry never missed his mom’s birthday party. Ever. Not even when he had a big exam coming up, or a girlfriend’s birthday or in this case, a huge movie to shoot. So Henry made a lot of effort to have Zack permit him to visit England for the weekend. It involved a lot of begging and promises, of course.

The party was loud and over-crowded with relatives and friends. He’s not entirely sure if they were there for his mom or for him because everyone seemed much more enthusiastic meeting him rather than greeting his mother. It pissed him off, really, but Henry was raised to be the perfect gentleman so even though he wanted nothing to do with them, he pretended otherwise.

After doing a whole lot of small talks and overly eager greetings, he suddenly felt his energy draining and he quietly retreated to the backyard. Pretending does take a lot of energy.

“What are you doing here? The party is inside.”

Henry turned to see his mom walking towards him. She must have noticed him missing at the party. “Just getting some air, mum.”

Marianne nodded. “I’m glad you are here.”

“Me too.”

She smiled at him and gently placed a hand on his back. She watched him quietly for a moment before clearing her throat. “What’s wrong, honey?”

Henry sighed and wondered how after all these years his mother could still read him like an open book.

“Mum, tell me, what is love?”

Marianne looked surprised. “Oh, it’s much more complex than that.”

“Just tell me anything mum. Anything.” Henry pleaded. He sounded desperate.

Marianne stared at him then she smiled softly. “Many people tried and failed to define love. The truth is - it is what it is. You earn it, you crave for it, and you feel it. That’s love.”

Henry took a deep breath. He can’t help but to feel like a child in front of his mother. “How do you know if it is enough? How do you know when to hold on? How do you know when you should let go?”

Marianne shifted her gaze to the garden, thinking. He might come off as distressed. Lonely. Heartbroken. Suddenly she nodded, a smile forming on her aged face. “Son, love can be many things but for me, what I really think, is that true and honest love means being contented about what you have and what you can never have.”

Henry’s heart lurched at her words and suddenly it’s hard to breathe.

She continued, her tone loving and warm, as if she knew what he’s going through and she’s trying to protect him. “It is when you see the person you’re in love with and you realize that they’re happy with someone else, and you’re okay with that because seeing them happy is already enough.”

Marianne looked back at him, this time she looks sad but understanding. She hugged him tight and because of their height difference, Henry had to crouch down to give her more access.

“It’s hard, I know, but it’ll all be okay son. But first, let yourself grieve. You deserve that. Cry all you want. It’s okay.”

For the first time in a very long time, Henry cried.

-

“They’re getting a divorce.”

Henry glanced up from the script he’s reading to Amy, who was busy looking at her phone.

“That’s why he looks sad most of the time.” She continued. “He said they’ve been talking about it for a while.”

“Okay?”

Amy shrugged and gazed at him. She has this look on her face that Henry’s couldn’t describe.

“The tabloids said he was involved with the nanny that’s why their divorcing. I say it wasn’t her.”

“Amy…”

Amy interrupted hastily. “Ben’s not that type you know. He wouldn’t leave his family just because of some random screw. It should be someone he really loves.”

“Why are we talking about this?” Henry asked, confused (alarmed). She was close (too close) from hitting home.

“I just thought you should know.”

Henry swallowed. “Know what?”

“That he’s leaving his family because he’s in love.”

Henry almost forgot how good Amy when it comes to reading people. He just hoped (prayed) that what she’s saying is true.

-

Comic Con. They’re going to Comic Con. Zack said that they have to be there for the fans. Henry was just happy he’s going. There’s something magical about Comic Con. Maybe it’s the passionate people around or maybe the idea of it or the new toys in display, Henry couldn’t really pinpoint what. He’s just excited.

He stared at the wardrobe his stylist brought this morning. What should he wear? Should he go for the white polo or the black stripe shirt? Or maybe his superman suit? Would the wardrobe department let him borrow it?

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a knock. When he opened the door, his thoughts went blank.

“Can I come in?”

Henry stared at Ben. The brooding, tall, superstar Ben fucking Affleck was standing in front of him and his first thought was, _Oh God, he’s beautiful._ How long was it since the last time they saw each other like this? Henry honestly couldn’t remember because right now, all he can see is Ben, in his hotel room, alone.

“Ah, sure.”

Of course Henry would let him in. He had let him in a long time ago. He, however, hadn’t let him out even if the man had asked (demanded) him to.

“I know I said it’s over, that it has to end but I… I can’t just let go. I thought I can but I can’t just go on and pretend that nothing has changed because everything has already changed when I met you.”

“Ben –”

“No, Henry. Let me finish.” Ben pleaded and his eyes were so earnest, so honest and vulnerable and Henry couldn’t look away. “Can’t you see – I had to make things right. I have a family, children to think about. So I decided that I couldn’t do it anymore. I have to come clean with Jen. I have to let her know what I did and why I did it.”

Henry suddenly felt bold, confident. He thought this is the moment he should say, _Fuck you! You have a family! Or are you here to shove it to my face? Or get lost Ben, let me move on._

Instead he asked, “Why did you do it?”

“I did it because I’m stupid, I’m reckless and… I fell in love.”

Henry held his breath as Ben walked towards him, closing their gap. He was wearing _that smile_ \- that smile that is everything for Henry. That smile that was reserved for him. Only for him.

“And Henry, I still am.”

-

Henry likes to think he is somewhat an expert when it comes to love.              

He had his fair share of romance and heartbreaks, and he had survived most part of it. Some of them barely, but somehow he always finds a way to get back on his feet and carry on.

But nothing, not his experience, books or manuscript could’ve prepared him in falling in love with Ben.

It was like learning how to breathe for the very first time. It was a sudden rush of strong, invading feelings that he wasn’t familiar with. It was horrible and painful, yet it was the most beautiful feeling in the world.

Ben had cast his sun unto him, shining and warm, bathing him with his love, care and protectiveness. Henry treasures it and let the feeling envelopes his skin, his heart, and his whole being.

So maybe Henry was right after all. Love is really about giving everything. No questions. No conditions. It was that simple.

**Author's Note:**

> Adding another love to all those who love Benry so much.


End file.
